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Bella Swan, the worst heroine in english literature?

Posted on July 12, 2010 in Uncategorized by


Okie so I was reading through a mag the other day and came across this article about Mizzzz Bella Swan that had me in stitches.
Most people in the Uk may have read this, as the magazine came free with one of our more popular newspapers, but Im gonna share it with you so all our over-seas fans don’t miss out.

Just so you know, the article was written by “Claire Coleman” so all the credit for this goes to her 🙂

“Want to be Bella Swan? – Fangs, but no fangs!”

She falls for a hunky vampire, then ditches her mates and self-respect.
Far from a modern-day heroine, the Twilight Saga’s leading lady sucks. Big time!

Unless you’ve been living in a coffin for the past year, you’ll have heard of the Twilight Saga – the uber successful book and film franchise based on the forbidden love story of mortal Bella Swan and the deadly – yet – gorgeous bloodsucker Edward Cullen. No doubt you’ll be familiar with Bella’s battles with both the undead and the usual teen dilemmas ( just how does a gal keep the peace between her vampire boyfriend and werewolf best mate?).
But, Twi-hard fans look away now, because as the third instalment is about to be released, we’ve come to the conclusion that Bella’s become a complete pain in the neck. With her puppy-dog adoration of Edward and her squirm-inducing need to be rescued by a man, it seems feminism has completely passed Bella by.
And sadly, as the Twilight story has evolved, we can’t say the same of her backbone.
Wimpy Bella, played by doe-eyed Kristen Stewart, 20, could do with a few lessons in kick-ass from that over vamp-lover Sookie Stackhouse – the southern belle in Tv’s True Blood. She has attitude and then some, which leaves pale-faced Ms Swan in the shade. Unlike boring Bella, Sookie ( Played by Anna Paquin) is capable of looking after herself and saving her vampire lover, Bill (gorge Stephen Moyer).
More to the point, their relationship is one of equals, not whatever the fangter says goes.
We’d go so far as to say that Bella’s behaviour is in danger of spawning a generation of wishy-washy women, all needing a man to define them. So is she one of the worst heroines in all of contemporary literature? Here are five reasons why we think Bella sucks…

She’s a damsel in distress
Bella is so clumsy and accident-prone, it’s a miracle she can get to high-school on her own without incident. Oh scrap that, she can’t. If she’s not being scooped out of the way of a speeding car or saved from marauding thugs by Edward, she’s in the woods, falling over then lying around waiting to be rescued. Or she’s flinging herself off cliff tops, only to be – you guessed it – rescued by a guy. And it’s not as if any of the other women in Twilight are shining examples of strong female role models, either; they’re all two-dimensional stereotypes. Even Alice Cullen, Edwards adoptive sister who has at least a smattering of sass, is confined to being interested only in designer clothes and organising events. Bella’s high-school buddy, Angela (she wears glasses because, yep, she’s the clever one) barely gets a look in.

It’s just me, me ,me
We were teenagers, too. We know what it’s like to think your ugly and that nobody’s ever going to love you. We can see why girls identify with Bella, but lets cut the crap. There’s nothing wrong with being different. Pale skin, dark hair and a penchant for jeans and converse hardly makes you an outsider. But there is something wrong if you believe your looks define you. Bella’s intelligent, but she’s so in awe of the Cullen’s beauty, grace and brilliance, she can’t appriciate her own qualities. “It never made sense for you to love me,” she tells Edward. Girl….get a grip!

She’s got no identity
If one of your friends decided they were into football and thrash metal just because their new boyfriend was, you’d think they were crazy. Similarly, if they ditched their plans to go to university for him, you’d be staging an intervention. But that’s what Bella does. She’s prepared to sacrifice her entire existence for the sake of a man. And, when he leaves her, she descends into a depression and makes it her life’s work to endanger herself so he can rescue her. Call this the mark of an epic love story if you will; we call it mental.

It’s all a bit too intense!
A relationship takes time to evolve, right? You talk, get to know each other, discover things in common. What you don’t do is go from spotting each other across a crowded classroom to deciding to ditch the life you know for a man. Haven’t we moved on from fairy tales? As for Prince Charming, in what twisted world is it seen as romantic for a man to creep through your window to watch you sleep? Or take parts out of your car to stop you seeing your friends? To us, that’s the equivalent of a controlling loon.

She treats her friends like total suckers
Not only does Bella ditch her friends to spend time with Edward (mates before men anyone?), but her behaviour towards Jacob Black, the new werewolf on the block, isn’t exactly exemplary. She knows he wants to be more then just friends, and that it’s torture for him to keep seeing her. Yet selfishly, she continues spending time with him because, in New Moon, it’s a distraction from her longing for Edward (who’s disappeared in the hope that she’ll forget him). She can’t, but she decides to make Jacob a friend-with-benefits anyway  — with no thought for his feelings. Not exactly the behaviour of a good mate. In fact, where we come from, we’ve got a name for girls like that….”

And there you have it people, one of the best damn articles ever written about Bella Swan. She is not infact one half of “loves young dream” but a spineless bitch who dumps her mates as soon as a guy comes along, then casually uses one for sex when he bogs off and all-in-all gives women everywhere a bad name.

Shame on you miss Swan….Shame!!!



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